Laguna Tunes: Blasts from a Bubblegum Past (NY Rock)

Related
material
on NY Rock:

Joan Jett
(Mar. 1997)

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Darling's Work
on NY Rock

^{Kenny Laguna at age 16}

Laguna Tunes: Blasts from a Bubblegum Past, by Spyder Darling

Kenny Laguna? Let's see, wasn't he that Footloose guy who played with Dave Messina back in the seventies? Wait, that was Kenny Loggins. Kenny Laguna, for those not up on their Rock 'n' Roll Jeopardy, is best known for his longtime role as producer and manager to Ex-Runaway, and original riot grrl Joan Jett. The two teamed up to form Blackheart Records after Jett had been turned down by over twenty record companies in the new-wave disco-craze daze of 1980. Since then, despite odds even the most degenerate gambler wouldn't touch, Jett and Laguna have struck gold many times over. Laguna's production of Jett's 1982 multi-platinum single, "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," helped the song become an anthem for the MTV generation. Now as Blackheart Records beats into its twentieth year and no longer sells records out of the back of Joan's van, Laguna wants the world to know of his other, even lesser known accomplishments and associations dating back to the late sixties. So, like an audible footnote to pop history, out trots Laguna Tunes a quirky twenty-two track compilation of Laguna's work with artists as diverse and perverse as Darlene Love, the Morticians, Bow Wow Wow and even a pre-Dawn, Tony Orlando doing his best Frankie Valley impersonation on two of the CD's moldiest oldies, "Make Believe" and "In the Name of Happiness."

Rambling on in a chatty, wise-guy style about his achievements and associations, the Laguna Tunes liner notes cover four decades of classics, clunkers, smash hits and near misses. The ten-plus pages of background info tell everything but what Kenny had for lunch yesterday. Judging by what I've read and heard though, I'd say ham and cheese is a good guess. Among the repolished "gems" on the CD are a couple of cuts by Joan Jett, including a duet with Greg Graffin of Bad Religion punking out a cover of Cole Porter's "Let's Do It." Laguna himself takes a turn at the microphone on his self-penned "Home for Christmas," proving he's indeed a jack of almost all trades, the exception of course being singing. Other oddities on the disc include the theme to Andy Warhol's "Lonesome Cowboys," featuring actress Sissy Spacek of all people and future disco star Meco of Star Wars fame. To make the kaleidoscope even kookier there's the Doctor Demento favorite "Stairway to Gilligan's Island" by Led Zep-sound-alikes Little Roger and the Goosebumps. Honestly, who thinks of these band names? This particular potential chart buster was pulled from its initial release due to pulverizing pressure from Peter Grant, Led Zeppelin's heavy weight and heavy-handed manger.

I'm sure you're catching on by now that Laguna Tunes could easily have been titled Kenny’s Kitchen Sink for its "Everything But..." contents. Another idiosyncratic ingredient is "The Champion," written for Muhammad Ali in 1968, a song most memorable for its rhyme crime of coupling "Missed him" with "Sonny Liston." Ouch! Unbelievably, "The Champion" was almost released by Atlantic Records, but was knocked out when Ali lost his title fight to Joe Frazier. In light of Muhammad's recent tributes as a contender for many Athlete of the Century awards, maybe Kenny can again attract interest in the song from the boys over at ESPN's Jock Rock series. As if Ali hasn't suffered enough.

Ex-Sex Pistols packager Malcolm McClaren's pop-tart protégés Bow Wow Wow put in one of Laguna Tunes more legitimately listenable efforts with "Louis Quatorze" a bouncy new-wave blast from the Big Eighties. Laguna's production made ultimate use of Bow Wow Wow's trademark tribal drumming and singer Annabelle's pouty, playful vocals. When onboard with the band, Laguna came through with production that brought them their biggest hits, including the dance-floor favorite "I Want Candy," which unfortunately isn't included in this collection. Instead we're treated to Davey Crockett, and the instantly forgettable Moose and the Pelicans with a novelty throwaway that "featured" both Laguna and Sissy Spacek.

If you're a hardcore Joan Jett head who must have every rarity ever sold, or a Solid Gold Oldies junkie looking for a few novelty nuggets to add to your vault of musical knowledge then Laguna Tunes will be a joyride down a lost highway of bubble-gum wishes and soda-pop dreams. Others, however, may find the collection a grinding wind down a potholed highway to Hell. So, if you care or dare, buckle yourself in, crank up Laguna Tunes and enjoy.

February 2000

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